


What’s the Area Code for the Astral Plane?

by UnsuspectingToaster



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bachelorette Party, Car Breaks Down!, F/M, Grim Reapers, M/M, Magical Realism, Minor Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Road Trips, Vegas, am I using that tag right?, possibly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22666078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnsuspectingToaster/pseuds/UnsuspectingToaster
Summary: Well, this isn’t going according to his weekend plans.After seemingly centuries of a frankly disgusting amount of pining, his twin sister and her be-jeaned beau finally got together, and now they’re getting married.Now, it isn’t like Taako was against the nuptials. In fact, he’s ecstatic! It’s about time they got one- over their nonsense, and two- together. Plus, Taako is absolutely going to kill it in Vegas for Lup’s bachelorette party. He’s gonna look fine as hell in his flirtiest skirt, turn heads with his dancing, get tastefully drunk on some mixed drinks (which in all fairness, will probably taste like key-lime gogurt, but c’est la vie), and make sure his sister has the best night ever. He had planned for every possible contingency…Or so he thought.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	What’s the Area Code for the Astral Plane?

Well, this isn’t going according to his weekend plans.

After seemingly _centuries_ of (a frankly disgusting amount of) pining, his twin sister and her be-jeaned beau finally got together, and now they’re getting married.

Now, it isn’t like Taako was against the nuptials. In fact, he’s ecstatic! It’s about time they got _one-_ over their nonsense, and _two_ \- together. Plus, Taako is absolutely going to _kill it_ in Vegas for Lup’s bachelorette party. He’s gonna look fine as hell in his flirtiest skirt, turn heads with his dancing, get _tastefully_ drunk on some mixed drinks (which in all fairness, will probably taste like Key-Lime Gogurt, but _c’est la vie_ ), and make sure his sister has the best night ever. He had planned for every possible contingency…

Or so he thought.

In all of his planning, Taako didn’t account for the fact that his car, a teal blue ’55 Ford Thunderbird, would break down in the middle of the desert three days before the big night.

The car sputters to a halt, noxious black smoke billowing out from under the hood for a few seconds after it stops.

_Well, shit._

Between the car, the lack of signal on his phone, and the fact that the next town-Refuge,he thinks it’s called- is fifteen miles down the road, Taako knows he’s fucked, and _not_ in the fun way. After waiting in his car for almost two hours without a single sign of _anyone,_ he decides to start walking.

Gathering up his wallet, keys, phone, and what little water and will to live he’s got in his Prada purse, Taako touches up his lipgloss in the rearview mirror one last time and sets out. How hard can it be? He was Taako from TV for heaven’s sake! He’d get to Refuge, charm the locals, have them fix his car for free, and get to Vegas with time to spare. He won’t let Lup down. He can’t. He’d survive this, easy peasy.

…

Scratch that, Taako was going to die. Turns out fifteen miles of walking was going to take a _lot_ longer than he’d thought it would. His water had run out about two hours ago and it was starting to get dark. While the heat of the day had been nearly scorching in its intensity, it was quickly leaving along with the light. He hadn’t eaten since the cafe he stopped at for breakfast that morning and his stomach had begun to growl at him about ten (honestly _stunning)_ renditions of Tracy Chapman's _Fast Car_ ago. In the hours he’d been trudging along the side of the road, not a _single fucking car_ had driven by.

Frustrated, hungry, and quickly losing his shit, Taako checks his phone signal again only to see the screen go black, charger light blinking.

“FUCK!” Taako screams and plops down in a _totally dignified_ manner in the middle of the road. Lying back and splaying out, he watches the last few orange rays of light disappear over the horizon.

As the stars come out, Taako can see almost every twinkling light in the sky as they appear. Without the light pollution of the city, it's easy to see the constellations that he sure as hell can’t identify but finds beautiful anyway. Mesmerized with the stars he can't normally see, he almost misses the first flash of light zooming across the sky. _Was that a shooting star?_ Two more zoom past in quick succession and then the sky is filled with brilliant streaks of light.

Closing his eyes and resigning himself to his fate, Taako thinks to himself, _man, my reaper better be hot as shit, that’s for sure._

Taako hums to himself some Jimmy Buffet and tries to enjoy what he deems his last moments before the various local wildlife come tear him to pieces ( _I_ am _a tasty piece of fella, so I guess I can’t blame them_ ). Something seems to hum back at him in the distance- _the ever-encroaching tide of death,_ he thinks. It gets louder. He hums back louder in retaliation. The sound gets even _louder_. He starts singing… loudly. How _dare_ death not let him enjoy his last moments? The hum gets louder and louder, until it becomes a roar and Taako sits up quickly, opens his eyes to glare at the approaching sound and lights.

Wait. Lights?

“Oh, shit!” Taako quickly scrambles to his feet and rushes to the side of the road, barely avoiding being run over by the black motorcycle as it passes. With a long _screeeeech_ , the motorcycle slows down, flips a u-ey, and pulls up next to him.

About to yell at this maniac for nearly mowing him down where he lay, Taako stops short as the figure on the bike pulls off his helmet, shakes out his dreads, revealing himself to be a strikingly handsome man with dark skin and eyes that seem to glow, and asks in honestly the worst cockney accent he’s ever heard, “Oh, stars! Are you alright?”

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh so this is my first fanfic ever and also the first piece of creative writing I've done in years! I'm super proud of it so far!!!  
> I don't have a beta reader, so forgive any grammar/spelling mistakes!  
> Come talk to me on tumblr @broseidon-lord-of-all!


End file.
